Some helpful internet etiquette
|1) Big companies don't do business via chain
letter. Bill Gates is not giving you $1000, and Disney is
not giving you a free vacation. There is no baby food
company issuing class-action settlement checks. You can
relax; there is no need to pass it on "just in case
it's true". Furthermore, just because someone said
in the message, four generations back, that "we
checked it out and it's legit," does not actually
make it true.
2) There is no kidney theft ring in
New Orleans. No one is waking up in a bathtub full of
ice, even if a friend of a friend swears it happened to a
cousin. I quote: " The National Kidney Foundation
has repeatedly issued requests for actual victims of
organ thieves to come forward and tell their stories.
None have." That's "none" as in
"zero" - not even your friend's cousin.
3) Neiman Marcus doesn't really sell a $200
cookie recipe. And even if they do, we all have it. If
you make the recipe and decide the cookies are that
awesome, feel free to pass it on.
4) We all know 500 ways to drive your
roommates crazy, irritate co-workers, creep people out on
the elevator. We also know exactly how many engineers,
college students, Usenet posters, and people from each
and every ethnic group it takes to change a light bulb.
5) If your CC: list is regularly longer than
the content of your message, you're probably going to
6) Even if the latest NASA rocket disaster(s)
did contain plutonium that went to particulate over the
eastern seaboard, do you really think this information
would reach the public via an AOL chain letter?
7) There is no "Good Times" virus.
In fact, you should never, ever forward any e-mail
containing any virus warning unless you first confirm it
at an actual site of an actual company that actually
deals with virii. And even then, don't forward it. We
8) If you're using Outlook, IE, or Netscape to
write e-mail, turn off the HTML encoding. Those of us on
Unix shells can't read it, and don't care enough to save
the attachment and then view it with a web browser, since
you're probably forwarding us a copy of the Neiman Marcus
9) If you still absolutely must forward that
10th generation message from a friend, at least have the
decency to trim the eight miles of headers showing
everyone else who's received it over the last six months.
It sure wouldn't hurt to get rid of all the
">" that begin each line. Besides, if it has
gone around that many times, everyone else has probably
10) Craig Shergold in England is not dying of cancer or anything else and would like all to stop sending their business cards. He apparently also is no longer a "little boy" either.
"The whole aim of practical politics is to keep the populace alarmed--and hence clamorous to be led to safety--by menacing it with an endless series of hobgoblins, all of them imaginary."--H. L.Mencken on politics.
"The day before election day they were still bowing their necks to the Anti-Saloon League, but two days later they were howling for beer and by the end of the year they were also howling for whisky, gin and rum."--H. L. Mencken on the U.S. congress and the election of 1932.
"I am the first man south of the Mason-Dixon line to brew a drinkable home-brew."--H.L. Mencken, in "Heathen Days".